What made you choose CrossFit True?
After a weird ultramarathon career-ending injury , I spent two years searching for something that could burn off my suppressed emotions as effectively as running from bears in the woods at Sleeping Giant. At 54, with zero barbell experience and only a three year membership to the “Just Run Club,” I decided it was time to actually “workout.”
My gym reconnaissance mission took me everywhere from mirrored box gyms to underground bro sweatshops. Each one screamed “You Don’t Belong Here!” louder than that bear on Sleeping Giant. As a last resort, I turned to looking at CrossFit boxes.
I pulled up Google Maps to find boxes that wouldn’t require a heroic commute. Four contenders emerged. Then came the totally professional research phase (definitely not stalking) where I discovered CrossFit True’s Instagram, which led me to members’ Instagram posts. I found one with posts about chickens, ramps, honest reflections about life, and the occasional workout. It matched the vibe I was looking for. Shoutout to Mia, whose social media presence convinced me that if she could handle trespassing to hunt ramps, maybe I could handle a barbell at CFT.
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How long have you been training with us?
Joined August 2023. Still waiting for life to get the memo about my 3x-a-week goals.
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What has been your proudest moment in the past 90 days?
Easy answer. Two weeks ago, I hit a personal milestone. It was a workout with double-unders (which I scale to singles because I’m realistic about my relationship with gravity). For context, before CrossFit True, my jump rope experience consisted of exactly one encounter – and I’m pretty sure the rope won that round giving me a lifetime shoulder injury. I used to see jump rope in the WOD and mysteriously develop scheduling conflicts. But that day, something clicked. Six rounds, 32 singles each, all unbroken. No trips, no tangles, no accidental self-flogging.
It’s the little things… like finally proving that jump ropes aren’t actually secretly plotting against me.
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When you’re not at the gym, what do you do for work? What do you do for fun?
By day, I strut around as a Capstone teacher (after retiring from my previous role as a tech-savvy social studies guru who ran what was basically the NASA of social studies classrooms). After the bell rings, you’ll find me anywhere outside that isn’t currently experiencing a tornado because I was stuck outside in a tornado once and learned my lesson.
My resume includes professional walking enthusiast (hiking and backpacking), amateur plant whisperer (gardening), and certified outdoor lounger (reading by fires – it’s harder than it looks). While my ultramarathon days are behind me, I still hit the trails with my dog for a mile or two at night after CrossFit.
When not outside, my wife and I are die-hard NWSL fans, watching enough women’s pro soccer to qualify as assistant coach coaches. We’re also Formula 1 fanatics (seeing a live race is on my bucket list).
I’m also the trail manager for a section of the Quinnipiac Trail and run a small business called Holey Hiker Bidets.
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How is your nutrition? How has it changed since joining CrossFit True?
I started becoming a nutrition geek when I was doing ultramarathons. I found the science of fueling a long distance race fascinating. I was pretty hard core whole food plant based. When running ended I changed my focus from carbs to protein in the aging body 🙂 Which accidentally fit in perfectly with a future CF regimen. I think I spent at least two or three years consuming all the research I could on protein. I could go on forever with nutrition! Types of fiber,the new research on the microbiome and how the food you eat influences it and how it in turns influences….
Ok, next question.
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What are your 3 favorite movements/exercises?
Farmer’s carry (because directions are pretty easy), box jumps onto the extra tall box (gives me super hero vibes), and dumbbell floor press (first thing I ever did at RX weight)
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What is your favorite style workout? (AMRAP, EMOM, Rounds for Time, etc)
The type where there is a list of stuff and time limit. Love the longer ones of 20+ minutes. Basically any that seem impossible to finish and make my mind totally flip off the rest of the world and allow me to feel totally present.
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What about your favorite workout?
The New Year’s Eve workout. Love that there is room to strategize and adjust the order of movements.
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Any favorite workout songs?
Let’s just say my playlist would be very different than what plays at CFT #uptheirons 🙂 If anyone wants to try a totally different workout song, try a song from Barbatuques called Baiana (Jack Back remix)
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Have you changed physically or mentally since you’ve been working out with us?
Physically? I’ve developed these mysterious new topographical features between my neck and shoulders. I’m pretty sure they’re muscles, but I’m waiting for the US Geographical Survey to confirm.
Mentally? The last three years just when I thought I could not stack another family emergency on top of another, life said “here’s one more.” CrossFit True has become my sanity sanctuary. Turns out burpees are excellent for processing suppressed emotions, and wall ball sweat is surprisingly effective for cleansing dark corners of my soul.
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What are your current goals?
To be a jacked 90 year old. I mean a functionally fit 90 year old.
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How have your goals changed since you joined?
When I joined I had the bro gym/Instagram mentality of what fit was. Then came The Kelly Incident™. Very early on I teamed with Kelly for a workout and she just crushed the workout and my ego 🙂 I just could not keep up with her times or weight. I started questioning my life choices,but while gasping for oxygen I was like…ahhhh…that is what fit is. From that moment I dropped the bro mentality and just wanted to keep up with Kelly. I wanted to be functionally fit. I get it now.
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What has been the biggest surprise since joining CF True?
A bunch…
1-The coaching squad is all so good. Not all heroes wear capes, but all of ours can demonstrate a perfect burpee while explaining that we need to do 50 of them with a straight face.
2-Getting called an Ass by Cassie for finishing the bike early. That’s going on my CV under “Special Achievements.”
3-Discovering my rep-counting ability stops at 6. After that, it’s just interpretive math.
4-That I am slowly evolving from “I must win everything” to “Hey, at least I didn’t face-plant during those wall walks.” Personal growth, right?
5-Discovering that “up-downs” is not, in fact, a globally recognized exercise movement despite Coach Alex’s confident naming
6-This is the biggest…I actually like the “yoga” poses during warm-ups. In the beginning I was like “what the %#@K is a down dog?” Like bro, I am not here for yoga.
I get it now.
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What can you do now that you couldn’t do before joining?
I can jump rope! Sometimes, kind of…slowly.
Say something else, Anything!
Congratulations, CFT athlete! You’ve made it to the end, and like any good workout, there’s a reward for finishing strong. But forget protein shakes – how about a FREE BIDET? Winner winner chicken dinner!
That’s right, you’ve squatted, you’ve suffered, now it’s time to feel shower fresh all day long. Visit http://holeyhiker.com and pick your prize and I will hand deliver it to you. Don’t need one yourself? Nominate your favorite friend with questionable hygiene and give me their address – I’ll ship worldwide!
Where there’s a butt, there should be a Holey Hiker Bidet. Because everyone deserves a clean finish, whether it’s a CrossFit workout or…well, you know.